


One Piece PETs: Children say the darndest things

by moonlitinuyasha1985, XFangHeartX



Series: One Piece PETs [202]
Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 02:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6781024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitinuyasha1985/pseuds/moonlitinuyasha1985, https://archiveofourown.org/users/XFangHeartX/pseuds/XFangHeartX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Tales of when the SH children would say some pretty naughty words. Takes place post-timeskip.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**One Piece PETs: Children say the darnedest things  
Chapter One**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. Ze Great Eiichiro owns this masterful manga series.)

 

 

   A child's first words are important things. It's a big milestone, showing how much they're growing. Most children's first words are "Mama", "Dada", "Papa", "Mommy", or "Daddy".

 

However, some first words turn out to be something the parents don't intend for them to hear. Take this moment, for example.

 

   A one year old Roronoa Hanako was watching his father work out, lifting one of the baby dumbbells, mimicking his father. All of a sudden, Zoro dropped his dumbbell on his toe.

 

"AAAAAGH!!!" Zoro screamed. "SHIT!!!!"

 

Hanako looked up upon hearing his father curse.

 

"Shit?" he repeated.

 

Zoro gasped upon hearing his son repeat the word.

 

"Oh, no," he whispered, "Uh, Hanako? Pretend you didn't hear me say that."

 

"Why?" Hanako asked.

 

"First off, it's very bad. You shouldn't say those things...at least not until you're my age. Second...if your mother heard you repeat that, she'd skin me alive."

 

"Okay, Daddy." Hanako complied.

 

"Good," Zoro spoke as he pet Hanako on the head.

 

"But, what does that word mean?" Hanako inquired.

 

"Don't ask," Zoro answered.

 

"Okay." Hanako replied.

 

"Good boy," Zoro praised.

 

*****The Next Day*****

 

   This time, Hanako was with his mother in the library. Robin was sitting at the table, reading a book about Russian foods. Hanako was sitting patiently beside her, watching her read. Robin then yawned, covering her mouth with her wing. Her yawn was contagious, for Hanako made a cute yawn seconds later.

 

"Aww~!" Robin cooed.

 

Hanako smiled at his mother. At that moment, Robin stood up, but she accidentally stubbed her toe against the chair.

 

"AGH!!" she cried. " _Chert voz'mi!_ "

 

(A/N: "Damn it!" in Russian.)

 

Hanako tilted his head upon hearing that phrase.

 

" _Chert voz'mi_?" he repeated, inquisitively.

 

Robin gasped.

 

"Hanako!" she exclaimed.

 

"What is it, Mommy?" Hanako asked.

 

"Don't EVER say that!" Robin scolded.

 

"Is it a bad word?" Hanako inquired.

 

"Yes, it is!" Robin answered.

 

"Oh." Hanako muttered. "Daddy said the same thing when he said shit."

 

Hearing that caused Robin to gasp.

 

"Roronoa Hanako!!" she scolded.

 

"Aah!" Hanako screamed.

 

"Do you know what happens to children who say bad words!?" Robin asked.

 

"N-no," Hanako answered, nervously.

 

**  
***15 minutes later*****

 

Hanako pouted as he sat in the bathroom, a bar of soap stuffed in his mouth.

 

"Now, you sit in here and think about what you've done," Robin told him.

 

"Feh." Hanako scoffed.

 

"In the meantime, I'm going to have a talk with your father," Robin added as she walked out, "Zoro!"

 

Upon hearing his wife call for him, Zoro froze with a look of dread on his face.

 

 _'Aw, hell...!'_ he thought, sweating bullets.

 

"Aw, man, she sounds really pissed, Zoro," noted Luffy, "What'd you do now?"

 

"I...may have cursed in front of Hanako..." Zoro answered.

 

"You WHAT?!" Luffy questioned.

 

"It wasn't my fault!" Zoro cried. "I accidentally dropped one of my dumbbells on my foot!"

 

"Dude, you could've said a substitute for the curse word that you used!" Luffy told him. "Now, Robin's gonna kick your butt!"

 

"Which is why I'm gonna hide until she cools off," Zoro spoke up, "And you're not gonna tell her where I am, or it's your hide!"

 

"It won't matter whether I tell her or not, Zoro," Luffy shrugged as Zoro looked for a good hiding spot, "she'll still find you."

 

"Oh, please," Zoro scoffed, "What makes you so sure?"

 

"Uh...hello?" Luffy asked. "Her powers?"

 

"Oh, yeah." Zoro murmured.

 

"Yeah, you're screwed." Luffy pointed out.

 

"Zoro, did you hear me?!" Robin questioned. "Get over here, right now!!"

 

"Yipe...!" Zoro yelped.

 

"Good luck, man," Luffy spoke as he walked away, "you're gonna need it."

 

"Shut up," Zoro hissed.

 

"Zoro!" Robin called, again.

 

"I'm coming!!" Zoro shouted. "Sheesh!!"

 

Zoro took a deep breath, and he exhaled. Then, he went to accept his punishment from Robin.

 

"Yes, Robin?" he asked.

 

"Our son repeated a little swear word," Robin said, "Care to explain this?"

 

"It was a slip of the tongue," Zoro answered, "It won't happen again."

 

"It better not." Robin warned. "Or else you'll be sleeping in the Crow's Nest, ALONE."

 

"Yes, Robin." Zoro complied.

 

"Good," Robin nodded.

 

"Where is Hanako, anyway?" Zoro asked.

 

"He's on timeout," Robin answered, "Got him washing his mouth out with soap."

 

"Damn." Zoro cursed. "Going old century on him, huh?"

 

"Yes. Yes, I am." Robin nodded. "That's not a problem, is it?"

 

"No, no, no," Zoro answered, "it's no problem at all."

 

"Good," Robin smiled, "Now then, promise you won't curse in front of Hanako anymore. Please, Zoro?"

 

"I promise." Zoro answered.

 

"Good," Robin spoke.

 

*****A little later*****

 

"All right, Hanako, your punishment's over." Robin told the Cub Child.

 

Hanako responded by spitting the bar of soap out.

 

"Yuck...!" he groaned.

 

"I know, sweetie," Robin said, "Maybe now, you know not to say bad words."

 

"Yes, Mommy." Hanako nodded. "I'm sorry."

 

"It's okay," Robin replied, "Just don't do it again, all right?"

 

"All right." Hanako answered. "I promise."

 

"Good boy." Robin praised.

 

And this was only the beginning.

 

   There was Sanji and Vivi's son, Riku. Riku was...how to put this delicately...a bit of a rebel. This moment would be a good example of his rebelliousness.

 

"Nefertari Riku!!"

 

"Yipe!"

 

   The reason why Vivi called her son's name out so fiercely was because she found something he had written on the wall. It was...uh...a picture of Kohza with his pants down, and next to it was the phrase "I'm a shitty loser."

 

"Hehehehe," Riku giggled.

 

"That's not funny, young man!" Vivi shouted. "Where did you learn such language?!"

 

"...From Dad," Riku answered.

 

"Oh, is that right?" Vivi inquired.

 

*****Later*****

 

Sanji was in the royal kitchen, chopping up vegetables and whistling _Edge of Seventeen_ by Stevie Nicks.

 

"SANJI VINSMOKE!!!!"

 

"Ah!" Sanji yelped upon his full name being called. "Y-Yes, my beautiful Desert Queen?"

 

"Come here, RIGHT NOW," Vivi ordered, teeth gritted.

 

Sanji gulped as he did as he was told.

 

"Riku learned a profanity from you," Vivi began, "Care to explain?!"

 

"Oooh, that..." Sanji muttered. "Well...umm...I kind of got into it with Moss-head, again, and--"

 

"You dropped the s-bomb, correct?" Vivi finished.

 

"Nooooooo...?" Sanji answered, not making any eye contact whatsoever.

 

"Sanji!" Vivi yelled. "Tell the truth!"

 

"Okay, yes!" Sanji exclaimed. "But I didn't know Riku was there, I swear!!"

 

"Don't swear, that's what started this whole mess in the first place!" Vivi replied. "You should see what Riku wrote about Kohza!"

 

"Aw, no," Sanji muttered, face-pawing, "What's his beef with him?!"

 

"I don't know!" Vivi answered. "But you need to talk to him, NOW!"

 

"Yes, my love!" Sanji cried, running out of the kitchen. "RIKU~!!!"

 

"Yes, Daddy?" Riku answered.

 

"Did you write that thing about Kohza, earlier?" Sanji asked.

 

"Yes." Riku answered.

 

"Riku, why do you hate Kohza so much?" Sanji asked, crouching down to his son's level.

 

"...Mom is making everyone think he's my Dad instead of you," Riku answered.

 

"Oh..." Sanji murmured in realization. "L-look, Riku, about that...I actually agreed to that, but we did it to keep you safe."

 

"Really?" Riku inquired.

 

"Do you know what people would think if they found out your Dad was a pirate?" Sanji asked.

 

"They'd think it was cool, won't they?" Riku replied.

 

"Actually, it would be the opposite." Sanji answered. "They wouldn't hate just you...they'd hate your mother."

 

"What? But, she didn't do anything wrong!" Riku spoke up.

 

"It wouldn't matter," Sanji answered, "the government would kill her for being with me. Not just that, but they'd kill you, too."

 

Riku gasped.

 

"No!!"

 

"Yes, son, it's true."

 

Riku was in utter shock.

 

"You don't have to like Kohza," Sanji said, "but can't you at least respect him?"

 

"But he's not cool like you are!" Riku argued. "Why should I?!"

 

"Because I said so!" Sanji answered. "Starting today, you and Kohza will get along! No ifs, ands, or buts about it!"

 

Riku pouted at this.

 

"This is stupid," he piped up.

 

"It is what it is, Riku." Sanji added, petting his son. "You may not understand now, but you will when you get older. Trust me."

 

"...Okay, I trust you." Riku responded.

 

Sanji smiled and ruffled his son's head.

 

"Thanks, son."

 

Riku only laughed.

 

"You're welcome, Dad."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Belle and Cleo._

**One Piece PETs: Children say the darnedest things  
Chapter Two**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. Ze Great Eiichiro Oda owns this equally great series.)

 

 

   Ever since Belle said her first word, Monkey D. Luffy and Nami have been making a log book of every word she ever said. Luffy was ecstatic when he heard her say "Daddy" for the first time. Nami was even more elated when she heard Belle say "Mommy". However, neither one expected what happened when Belle turned one.

 

   It all started when she was snooping around her parents' room, just as any curious child would, and found her mother's treasure chest. Belle smiled and opened it, finding all kinds of jewelry and gold coins.

 

"Ooh, pwetty!" she chirped.

 

She reached and pulled a couple of earrings.

 

"Hehe!" Belle giggled. "Pwetty!"

 

She tried the earrings on, but because her ears didn't have holes, they wouldn't stay.

 

"Aw." Belle pouted.

 

In that instant, Belle spotted a board game next to her mother's treasure chest.

 

"Huh?" she muttered before she went and picked it up. "What's this?"

 

The title of the game was "Hot Monogamy".

 

"Hot Monogamy?" Belle read.

 

She opened it up and pulled a card.

 

"'Do a...stwip tease and see how wong it takes fow him to get a...bonnew'," she read, "What's a bonnew?"

 

"Monkey D. Bellemere, what are you doing in here?!"

 

Belle turned to see her mother, Nami, looking down at her with her paws on her hips.

 

"Twying on yow jewelwy and looking at yow bowad game." Belle answered.

 

"Belle, you know you're not supposed to go through our stuff," Nami scolded, "How many times do I have to tell you?"

 

"I dunno." Belle answered, looking down with her paws behind her back. "Mommy, what's a bonnew?"

 

"A what?" Nami asked.

 

"A bonnew," Belle repeated, "It's on this card."

 

Nami's eyes became the size of dinner plates when Belle showed her the card.

 

"MONKEY D. BELLEMERE!!!" she shouted.

 

"Eep...!" Belle squeaked.

 

"You NEVER say this word!" Nami barked. "Do you hear me?!"

 

"Y-Yes, Mommy!" Belle cried, fearfully. "I'm sowwy!"

 

"Good." Nami spoke. "I'm sorry I had to yell at you like that, sweetie."

 

"That's okay." Belle replied. "I fowgive you."

 

Nami smiled as she hugged her little girl.

 

"Run along, now." she told her daughter, nudging the Hybrid Girl. "Go and play."

 

"Okay!" Belle chirped as she ran off.

 

"Dodged a bullet there." Nami sighed. "Luffy really should put this where Belle can't get it."

 

Subsequently, the navigator hid the board game in hers and Luffy's closet.

 

"There," she spoke, "That ought to do it."

 

She closed the closet, afterwards.

 

   Then there was Cleo. She's Riku's younger sister, born about a year earlier than Belle was. Cleo was...how you say...a bit rambunctious, probably as much as Belle, if not more so. Take this moment, for example.

 

"Nefertari Cleopatra!!" Vivi exclaimed. "Get back here and put your clothes on!!"

 

"Never~!!!!" Cleo laughed.

 

"Cleopatra, you're a lady!!!" Sanji yelled, chasing after his streaking daughter. "And ladies do not run around butt-naked!!! Unless, they're nudists, but that's beside the point! Put your clothes on, right now!! It was cute, before, but you're not allowed to run around the palace naked!!"

 

Riku only laughed at his sister's antics.

 

"That's not funny, Riku!" Sanji and Vivi shouted.

 

"Oh, c'mon, it's kinda funny!" Riku argued. "Right, Cleo?"

 

"Yeah!" Cleo answered.

 

"See?" Riku asked.

 

"Riku, you're supposed to be setting a better example!" Sanji chided.

 

"Phooey!" Riku retorted. "I'm just trying to be the fun brother!"

 

"Oh, whatever!" Sanji replied as he continued to chase his nude daughter.

 

Eventually, he caught her and got her dressed.

 

"Aww~!" Cleo pouted. "No fair!"

 

"Life's not fair, Cleo." Sanji told her. "Deal with it."

 

"Hmph!" Cleo huffed. "Douche..."

 

Hearing that caused Sanji to freeze.

 

"What did you say?!" he questioned.

 

"I said douche." Cleo answered. "I heard Uncle Zoro call you that."

 

"Is that right?" Sanji inquired.

 

*****Timeskip brought to you by Rin Okumura making omurice*****

 

"Yo, Mosshead!" Sanji barked. "I got a bone to pick with you!!"

 

"Whatdya want, cook?!" Zoro questioned.

 

"My daughter overheard a certain word you said about me," Sanji spoke.

 

"And which word would that be?" Zoro inquired.

 

"Douche," Sanji answered.

 

"Oh, that word." Zoro murmured. "I might have said it around her once."

 

"What's wrong with you?!" Sanji questioned. "You don't say stuff like that in front of a little girl!!"

 

"For the record, I didn't even know she was listening to me!" Zoro barked.

 

"Oh, I'm so sure!" Sanji yelled, sarcastically. "I bet you taught it to her to spite me!!"

 

"Oh, please!" Zoro replied. "You are so melodramatic, you know that?!"

 

"Hey, I'm a father!" Sanji countered. "And so are you! You need to be setting a better example for your children!"

 

"Psh!" Zoro scoffs. "Like I need parenting advice from you!"

 

"What's going on here?!" Robin asked as she approached.

 

"Cleo learned a curse word from your husband," Sanji answered, "which she repeated to me."

 

"What did she say?" Robin asked.

 

"She said 'Douche'," Sanji answered.

 

"What?!" Robin questioned. "Zoro!"

 

"Oh, come on!" Zoro complained. "You're taking _his_ side?!"

 

"What do you think?" Robin asked.

 

Zoro heaved a defeated sigh.

 

"Shoot me...!"

 

"That can be arranged." Sanji quipped.

 

"Ugh..." Robin groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Look, Zoro, just try to refrain from cursing in front of the children. Please?"

 

"All right," Zoro answered.

 

"Thank you." Robin spoke. "Was that so hard?"

 

"...No." Zoro admitted.

 

"I thought so," Robin smiled.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Kirara napping*****

 

Later, Sanji and Cleo stood outside on a balcony, watching the sunset together.

 

"Are you still mad at me?" asked the latter.

 

"No, Cleo, I'm not," the former answered, "but we still have to talk abut what you said earlier."

 

"Figures," Cleo muttered, "I don't see what the big deal is."

 

"Cleo, you're a princess," spoke Sanji, "and princesses shouldn't curse."

 

"Why not?" asked Cleo.

 

"Because it's not lady-like." Sanji told her. "Don't you want to be a fine, elegant lady, like your mother?"

 

"...I guess so," Cleo answered, shuffling her foot.

 

"Promise me you won't curse?" Sanji asked.

 

"...Okay, Daddy," Cleo piped up with a sweet smile.

 

"That's my girl." Sanji praised, petting his daughter.

 

Cleo giggled as he did this. At that point, Sanji picked her up and hugged her.

 

"I love you, Cleo."

 

"Right back at ya, Daddy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Family Guy. ^^


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Kuina learns a naughty word._

**One Piece PETs: Children say the darnedest things  
Chapter Three**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. Ze Great Eiichiro Oda owns this fantastic series.)

 

 

   Our next tale deals with the final Straw Hat child, Nico Kuina. Now, you're probably wondering how somebody as sweet, shy, and innocent as Kuina could ever curse, right?

 

Naturally, the shy ones must never be underestimated. However, we will get to that soon enough.

 

Kuina was in the kitchen, eating an ice cream parfait Sanji had made for her.

 

"Thank you, Uncle Sanji!" she spoke up.

 

"You're welcome, Kuina." Sanji replied, making coffee.

 

   Kuina watched the caffeinated beverage being made. For as long as she could remember, coffee had been a favorite drink of her mother's. She often wondered what it tasted like, yet never asked if she could try it. Until today.

 

"Uncle Sanji, may I please drink coffee?" she asked, politely.

 

"Ask your mother, Kuina." Sanji answered.

 

After finishing her parfait, Kuina went off in search of her mother. Sure enough, Robin was found in the library.

 

"Mama," Kuina called, walking over to her mother.

 

"Yes, Kuina?" Robin asked, facing her fledgling.

 

"May I please drink coffee?" Kuina inquired.

 

"Sweetheart, you're too young to drink coffee." Robin answered.

 

"Aww, please?" Kuina asked, blinking her eyes sweetly.

 

"No, Kuina." Robin answered, softly.

 

"Then, may I please drink sake?" Kuina inquired.

 

"Absolutely not, young lady!!" Robin exclaimed.

 

"Aww~!" Kuina pouted.

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Shippo's smashing top*****

 

Kuina walked over to her father, who was eating rice balls.

 

"Papa?" she called. "May I please drink sake?"

 

"What did your mother say?" Zoro asked, eating a rice ball.

 

"She said yes...?" Kuina lied.

 

"Kuina." Zoro scolded, clearly not believing her.

 

"She said no." Kuina admitted.

 

"Then, no. You may not drink sake." Zoro replied.

 

"But why not!?" asked Kuina.

 

"First of all, your mother would kill me if I ever gave you alcohol," Zoro answered, "Second, you have to be a certain age."

 

"How old do I have to be?" Kuina inquired.

 

"About as old as your brother," Zoro answered.

 

Kuina pouted.

 

"Don't look at me that way."

 

"Please, Papa?"

 

"No. Now go to your room."

 

"Dang it."

 

On that, Kuina went to her room.

 

"No fair," she muttered.

 

"Life's not fair, Kuina!" Zoro called. "Deal with it!"

 

Kuina huffed, and sat on her bed.

 

"I gotta get some sake somehow."

 

Kuina thought hard about this, until a light bulb appeared over her head.

 

"I got it!"

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Ichigo's Getsuga Tensho*****

 

Kuina peeked her head out of her door, looked both ways to see if anyone was coming, and when the coast was clear, she came out.

 

   Next, Kuina headed straight for where her father kept his alcohol. Once there, she opened the door to find the old Tiger Man standing in the doorway.

 

"Nope."

 

"But--"

 

" _Nope._ "

 

"But--"

 

"Kuina, no means no!"

 

"Dang it...!"

 

Kuina stomped her tiny little feet back to her room. Zoro rolled his eye and shook his head.

 

"What's with that girl?" he asked. "I don't know where she gets that kind of stubbornness from."

 

(A/N: Fang - ...Wow, Zoro...just wow.

 

Me - Words fail me. I literally have no words for Zoro's obliviousness.)

 

"There's nothing wrong with Kuina, other than the fact that she takes after you." Sanji spoke up, walking by.

 

"...Are you implying something?" Zoro questioned.

 

"I'll put this in a way you'll be able to understand me better," Sanji answered, "Kuina. Stubborn. You. Stubborn. Got that?"

 

"I get that you're a dork." Zoro retorted.

 

"Screw you, moron!" Sanji barked.

 

"Back at ya, cook!" Zoro snapped.

 

Soon, the two got into it, again. From within the library, Robin groaned.

 

"Not again..." she murmured.

 

She closed her book and went outside. There, she found her husband arguing with Sanji.

 

"Will you two give it a rest?!" Robin asked.

 

"He started it!" Zoro and Sanji answered, pointing at each other.

 

"I don't care who started it!" Robin chided. "I'm finishing it!"

 

She crossed her arms, and two wings appeared in between Zoro's and Sanji's legs. All of a sudden, they grabbed them and tripped them over!

 

"Ow!" they cried.

 

"There!" Robin spoke. "Fight's over!"

 

During the commotion, Kuina slipped into the storage room while no one was looking.

 

"That was easy." she muttered.

 

She looked up and gasped upon seeing bottles and barrels of sake.

 

"Wow...!" Kuina whispered in awe. "So many...!"

 

Deciding to start somewhere, she grabbed the bottle closest to her and opened it.

 

"I always wondered what this tasted like." Kuina said.

 

Hesitantly, Kuina put her lips to the bottle, and the moment the sake touched her tongue, she gagged and coughed.

 

"Eww!" she cried. "This is what Papa drinks every day?! It's nasty!"

 

"KUINA!!!!"

 

"Wha--" Kuin barely had time to talk for she was suddenly tackled by a green blur. "AAH!!!"

 

It was revealed to be Zoro.

 

"Dammit, I said you couldn't drink sake!" he shouted. "Why is that so hard to understand?!"

 

"Because I wanna know what it tastes like!" Kuina shouted back.

 

"Well, now you know!" Zoro barked.

 

"Yipe...!" Kuina squeaked.

 

"And don't ever think about doing this again!" Zoro added.

 

"...Yes, sir." Kuina replied, meekly.

 

"Good," Zoro said, "Now get your little butt outta here!"

 

"Eep!" Kuina cried, running away.

 

"...You didn't have to go that far," Robin spoke up.

 

"Robin, what was I supposed to do?!" Zoro questioned. "I can't be the good guy all the time, dammit!"

 

"You don't have to scare her!" Robin argued. "You know how timid she is!"

 

"Well, how else will she learn?!" Zoro asked.

 

Robin gave Zoro a disapproving look.

 

"Oh, no," Zoro murmured, "I know that look."

 

"Yes," Robin answered as she walked away, "Tonight, you're sleeping alone."

 

"Dammit." Zoro muttered. "I'm always the bad guy, aren't I?"

 

_'Yes.'_ Hanako thought.

 

"I heard that!" Zoro shouted.

 

"What?!" Hanako questioned. "How?!"

 

"You were thinking out loud!" Zoro answered.

 

"Dammit!" Hanako cursed.

 

**  
***In Kuina's room*****

 

Kuina sniffled as she hugged her pillow.

 

"Papa's mean...!" she whimpered. "What'd I ever do to him?!"

 

***Knock! Knock!***

 

"Kuina? It's Mama."

 

"You can come in." Kuina sniffled.

 

Robin opened the door and entered, sitting next to her daughter.

 

"Wanna talk?" she asked.

 

"...I just wanted a little taste of sake," Kuina answered, "Papa seems to really like it, and I wanted to know if it was good or not. I...I guess it wasn't though."

 

"Oh," Robin spoke, holding her little girl, "I see, now."

 

"If you're going to punish me, that's fine," Kuina added, "I probably deserve one."

 

"While you should be punished," Robin started, "I don't agree with how your father handled things."

 

Kuina looked at Robin, sniffling.

 

"You don't?" she inquired.

 

"No, I don't," Robin answered, "which is why he's sleeping alone tonight."

 

Kuina giggled a little.

 

"Silly Papa." she spoke up.

 

"Yes, he can be silly," Robin agreed.

 

"He's also mean." Kuina added.

 

"Yes, he can be sometimes," Robin concurred.

 

"...Mama?" Kuina asked.

 

"Yes, Kuina?" Robin responded.

 

"I'm ready for my punishment." Kuina answered.

 

"All right," Robin spoke, "No dessert for a month."

 

"Okay." Kuina nodded. "I'll take it."

 

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Blair giving Soul a Marshmallow Hell*****

 

Zoro was sitting in the Crow's Nest.

 

"Papa?" Kuina called.

 

"...Yes, Kuina?" Zoro asked.

 

"Can we talk?" Kuina inquired.

 

"...I guess," Zoro answered.

 

Kuina entered the Crow's Nest, facing her father.

 

"I'm sorry for drinking your sake," Kuina apologized.

 

"Apology accepted." replied Zoro. "You know I wasn't trying to be mean, right?"

 

Kuina nodded.

 

"I know," she responded, "but you were still scary."

 

"I know," Zoro spoke, "I'm sorry, Kuina."

 

He opened his arms, allowing his daughter to jump into them. Zoro chuckled as Kuina kissed him on the cheek.

 

"I love you, Papa." she spoke.

 

"I love you, too, Kuina," replied Zoro.

 

"And Papa?" Kuina asked.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"What does _culo_ mean?"

 

"Uh...I'll tell you when you're older."

 

"Okay." Kuina replied. "It's just that I heard Mama say that you told her she had a big _culo_ one time."

 

"...ROBIN!!!" Zoro called.

 

"What is it, Zoro?" Robin answered.

 

"It seems our daughter heard a certain word from you," Zoro said, " _Culo_ , was it?"

 

Robin blushed as red as a tomato.

 

"Oh, god," she muttered.

 

"I don't get it," Kuina piped up, "is it a bad word?"

 

"Well...err..." Robin mumbled.

 

"Yes, Kuina." Zoro answered. "It is a bad word."

 

"Oh," Kuina realized.

 

"Promise you won't say that word anymore?" Zoro asked.

 

"Uh-huh," Kuina nodded, "I promise."

 

"Good girl," Zoro praised, "Now why don't you go find your brother and go play?"

 

"'Kay." Kuina nodded as she left.

 

Zoro looked at Robin, incredulously, causing her to sigh.

 

"All right," she started, "I'm not perfect, either. Happy now?"

 

"...Yes." Zoro answered.

 

A pause...until they started chuckling.

 

"Ah, yeah," spoke Zoro.

 

"We really should watch what we say around Kuina." Robin piped up.

 

"Yeah, we should," Zoro agreed, "little kid's too impressionable at her age."

 

"Yes, she is," Robin concurred, "she may be shy, but she's very intelligent."

 

"She gets that from you," Zoro noted, "Not to mention her looks."

 

"Thank you, _Tora-kun_."

 

"No problem.... _mamacita_."

 

Robin smirked at him calling her her nickname. Then, they began to kiss.  
 ****

*****Short timeskip brought to you by Ranma getting dunked in cold water*****

 

The couple was sitting on the couch, their clothes a bit ruffled, but otherwise intact.

 

"That was fun." Zoro piped up.

 

"Yes, it was," Robin agreed.

 

Robin rested her head on Zoro's shoulder, causing him to smile.

 

All in all, it shows that even the shy ones can surprise you. Just ask Zoro and Robin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is just one of the things that have been sitting in my brain for lord only knows how long.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my head for months now.


End file.
